Success

On what does the idea of success depend?  First the word depend, meaning to hang off of, not to be built upon, but having come to mean being determined by. So from what does an idea of success depend?  It would seem to be a subjective value, a perceived location, based on an abstract concept, the achievement of an aim or goal, so it might come down to an examination of the source of goals.  The locus of such a source is still not a fixed point.  The laziness of the mind in working this one out is understandable when there are so many small goals that have to be achieved, like getting the laundry done and folded and put away, seeing that there is food in the house, gas in the car, cash for the taxes and other inescapable bills.  How is there time when life is on a runaway train to falling to pieces to consider such a thing as a goal that sits on top of Maslow's pyramid?
I've been wondering if a personal prime directive gets bolted into place so early that it is the work of a life time to figure out where it is, and changing the orientation is another task, and perhaps for me by now, best saved for another life if there is one.  If there isn't, then I'd better get busy making peace with the way things are, to accept what I can and cannot do, what I do and do not want and dig through another level of knowing that I have spent much of my time here trying to appease ghosts.
There is a danger of becoming disconnected from humanity at large by just considering things like not being around groups of people because it makes me feel as though a layer of skin is missing.  It is hazardous to sink into the sweet softness of my life in the woods, taking what insulation I can find in solitude.  It could lead to permanent sweatpants and coffee stains on my shirt.  It could lead to becoming the kind of old woman I viewed with derision and fear in my youth.  Somewhere on the razor's edge between these two realities is a path to peace, but I'm not sure it includes polite dishonesty.