In the OED, it is not until the 3rd choice of definitions that you see the word relating to personal attachment to appearance.
The word means emptiness, coming from a Latin word vanus, giving rise to the word vanitas.
Meaninglessness, fruitlessness also are words used to describe it. A path that leads nowhere.
The trouble I see now is how emptiness and the value given to it has created society's view of itself.
As girls, tiny girls, we are encouraged to be vain about our looks, more than boys, though boys are inculcated with suggestions as to where they should project their vanity as well.
So, here we are, in a world where if you are talented in an area that requires your personal visibility, and particularly if you are female, looks count.
Good looking women and men are paid more than plain ones. Or heavy ones. When I have been criticized about my appearance, particularly my size, I enjoy pointing out that when the critic and I are both dead, we will decompose at the same rate.
Still, the shame about my appearance instilled in me at the breast and beyond makes it hard for me to see a photo of myself. I mean, inside, I am a magnificent waterfall, fireworks, points of celestial light spinning around a central vortex. I am supplied with wings and gills, whatever I need - so when I see a photo of a grumpy old woman with bad hair and jowls, it gives me a start.
There used to be cultures where mirrors were not allowed, it was considered an affront to the tribe to gaze on one's own face instead of noticing the look on other's faces when you were in their presence. A much better gauge to the kind of person you are.
And of course, there is the story of Narcissus, maybe he was a pretty boy, but I'm not certain the end to his story is enviable.
So, why do we all care so much and why does it hurt so much to call people names based on their appearance? I personally don't plan to take my appearance with me into the afterlife if there is one, and if there is not I won't be needing it there either.
Why do many of us care so much how we are evaluated by others? Status ranked by things that are empty, meaningless, fruitless and leading nowhere.
The word means emptiness, coming from a Latin word vanus, giving rise to the word vanitas.
Meaninglessness, fruitlessness also are words used to describe it. A path that leads nowhere.
The trouble I see now is how emptiness and the value given to it has created society's view of itself.
As girls, tiny girls, we are encouraged to be vain about our looks, more than boys, though boys are inculcated with suggestions as to where they should project their vanity as well.
So, here we are, in a world where if you are talented in an area that requires your personal visibility, and particularly if you are female, looks count.
Good looking women and men are paid more than plain ones. Or heavy ones. When I have been criticized about my appearance, particularly my size, I enjoy pointing out that when the critic and I are both dead, we will decompose at the same rate.
Still, the shame about my appearance instilled in me at the breast and beyond makes it hard for me to see a photo of myself. I mean, inside, I am a magnificent waterfall, fireworks, points of celestial light spinning around a central vortex. I am supplied with wings and gills, whatever I need - so when I see a photo of a grumpy old woman with bad hair and jowls, it gives me a start.
There used to be cultures where mirrors were not allowed, it was considered an affront to the tribe to gaze on one's own face instead of noticing the look on other's faces when you were in their presence. A much better gauge to the kind of person you are.
And of course, there is the story of Narcissus, maybe he was a pretty boy, but I'm not certain the end to his story is enviable.
So, why do we all care so much and why does it hurt so much to call people names based on their appearance? I personally don't plan to take my appearance with me into the afterlife if there is one, and if there is not I won't be needing it there either.
Why do many of us care so much how we are evaluated by others? Status ranked by things that are empty, meaningless, fruitless and leading nowhere.
I think superficial people have always judged by appearances, but I am sure it is a lot worse since the advent of film and TV.
ReplyDeleteI do feel though that one can go too far in criticising 'objectification', as if it is wrong in itself to be aware of and attracted by another's physical charms. I'm sure it is a stronger instinct in men, but it's obviously a fundamental in both men and women. Where I think it has become problematic is the extent to which it has been commercialised.
But commerce and our media have only magnified something, albeit hugely; it was ever thus that attractiveness would open doors for women and men. I can't really see how it could be any different: we're sexual animals; it's one of our most powerful drives, and part of that is visual appeal.
It is only part, however, although the advantage it gives, in one sense, is hugely unfair. But attractiveness, sex appeal if you like, is not only not beauty but is often less to do with physical perfection than it is how somebody projects themselves, not to mention the fashion of the times.
And I think too that it can be a curse. Beautiful women particularly often find that men are attracted to them physically but don't treat them as people. I asked a very beautiful woman friend of mine how it had been for her, and she said, very forcefully indeed, "It's been a curse: men just want to get in your knickers and women hate you."
Perhaps at the heart of this is self honesty and self confidence. When somebody knows themselves and is content with that, that is attractive in itself. But it sure ain't easy!
One of the gifts of my WASP mommy was her unspoken disdain for people who gave precedence to appearances. Her (very) distant royal antecedents gave more status to education, manners and speech. They gave highest marks of all to money, but that's another conversation. She still thinks my taste for bright color is gauche, but freed me long ago of any huge need to dress up.
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