sfumato

To tone down, to evaporate like smoke.  In terms of painting, this is what sfumato means, an Italian word, full of the beauty of that language.
Memory has begun, for me to have the soft edges which blur out like ineffective erasings, and I am unsure of so many things that I was certain were a particular way.  It seems that more and more I argue with myself, tell my internal Rhadamanthus to shut the fuck up, to tell him that I really don't want to be reminded of the thousand things anymore, and that, look, over there is a beautiful flock of turkeys, let's just enjoy them for a minute shall we?
The beauty of the moment, of the person in front of me, of the life I get to live gets smudged by the darkness that rises and must be intentionally dispersed.
I like the verb sfumare, to dissipate like smoke, the technique "sfumato", using breath instead of a brush to blow into the cloud, and watch it swirl away.