A series of events, beginning with an uncooperative immune system.
If I had health insurance, I could pin it down, but let's just say that stress, lack of sleep [like, none] anxiety and getting called out on things about myself that are annoying, but let's face it, at this point in life aren't going to change and being way out of my element brought on a cluster of health reactions that needed to be brought back to NH, so here I am. Being gone for a week, I learned a few things. I am not a traveler. I will never attempt another lengthy road trip, and I won't stay away from my house for longer than 3 days. The drive back was hard, but the only thing outside me that fought the process was rain, my car was great, nobody I met on the road was weird, the traffic was light and my angels were with me.
Well, this blog isn't called Dharma Queen, it's called Dharma Bitch, and that's no accident.
I am home, bathed and in bed, there is one less chicken in my yard, and I suspect it is the friendly one, being friends with the interior of some predator, I guess. There are still a few peonies, and I will enjoy them.
At 20 you believe there will always be another opportunity to catch something you missed, but at 60 you face up to the limitations presented by time, by energy, by health and by income. Somehow, I didn't mind sleeping curled up in the front seat of a tiny car then as I do now. Of course, the times I rode across the country [many] when I was young, I was usually stoned out of my tree. Barreling across Texas with a buzz on was more like tripping than traveling. I come to think that life isn't meant to be only firsts strung out endlessly to the horizon. There are lasts. It might be good to notice things that are and file them under both definitions.
If I had health insurance, I could pin it down, but let's just say that stress, lack of sleep [like, none] anxiety and getting called out on things about myself that are annoying, but let's face it, at this point in life aren't going to change and being way out of my element brought on a cluster of health reactions that needed to be brought back to NH, so here I am. Being gone for a week, I learned a few things. I am not a traveler. I will never attempt another lengthy road trip, and I won't stay away from my house for longer than 3 days. The drive back was hard, but the only thing outside me that fought the process was rain, my car was great, nobody I met on the road was weird, the traffic was light and my angels were with me.
Well, this blog isn't called Dharma Queen, it's called Dharma Bitch, and that's no accident.
I am home, bathed and in bed, there is one less chicken in my yard, and I suspect it is the friendly one, being friends with the interior of some predator, I guess. There are still a few peonies, and I will enjoy them.
At 20 you believe there will always be another opportunity to catch something you missed, but at 60 you face up to the limitations presented by time, by energy, by health and by income. Somehow, I didn't mind sleeping curled up in the front seat of a tiny car then as I do now. Of course, the times I rode across the country [many] when I was young, I was usually stoned out of my tree. Barreling across Texas with a buzz on was more like tripping than traveling. I come to think that life isn't meant to be only firsts strung out endlessly to the horizon. There are lasts. It might be good to notice things that are and file them under both definitions.
Glad home is so welcoming.
ReplyDeleteM xx
I try to never think of things as 'lasts' because there always may be 'nexts'
ReplyDeleteIt could happen
I'll share with you sometime about 'tripping' in Colombia and talking to a chicken (who gave me some good advice, by the way), but I knew that event in Colombia was my last. I'm a little farther down the road and see very clearly there are a number of things that have been classified as "last." It's OK; it doesn't do any good to resist some things as being last and in the past, but it's not good to give up hope for some 'firsts!' XO
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